Today, socializing... Tomorrow? Certain death!

Somewhere along the line, the computers become self aware and we all die. Though, somewhere before the first independent computers and death is a whole lot of stuff that causes us humans to do stupid and insecure things that lead to such seemingly fictitious and drastic outcomes.

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Above is my version of a Terminator skull. It took me 8 minutes. When I load the post it messes it all up. But don't worry, it didn't look very good anyway.


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Facebook is not a social network. well, never mind, it is. But there is more. Aside from all of the stuff we know it to be, it is one thing that most of us would probably not know it to be.

Facebook has turned into what we all subconsciously love about this world. It's something that we all deny loving, but it is something that we love probably more than most of the nice people we know, and definitely more than most of our Facebook friends.

To unravel that a little further, once you've realized what this "something" is, that this is what you've been looking at, or ignoring but then giving in and looking at, every day, you will probably feel a little sick inside, like I did when I thought about it for the first time.

We have these people, all 397 of them, that post on the "home wall" at all hours of the day, whatever the heck they want. Getting closer to the point, these people have power over us. We have power over these people. This is advertisement at it's most intimate and intrusive. Our friends are advertising themselves to us. They are gathering their thoughts in a way that they feel will put them in the best possible light. They've scoured their iPhoto archives and have come up with their best possible look. They've thought about what they could say that would have the biggest and most drastic effect on you, the reader.

For some, it's just nonsense. We've seen it all, haven't we? Everything from full length paragraphs to some unique way to leave the status space blank. Even a blank space says something though, doesn't it? Otherwise, who would go through the trouble of trying to submit a blank status update?

Back to the point; advertisements. We all hate them, but they are created in a way to bypass this hatred and inject a desire inside of us. When dealing with a car, it is pretty easy because, in the end, who has the money to buy a brand new BMW? But when it comes to friends, what to do? Does it even matter that my friends (and random people from high school) are telling me about their day, every day, for the last 3 years? What does it do to us? How does it effect us?

I think that there are a few things to be sad about here. Firstly, the use of written words is one of the worst and least effective forms of communication known to man. All it gives are words. There is no body language, no "wink wink", no clarity. A friend could write "Looking forward to the weekend." and, because of the lack of an exclamation mark, the other friend could conclude that there is a problem. Or worse, that their friend is thinking about ending their friendship. This sounds silly, but what of all of the little kids that use Facebook? Their whole lives revolve around making friends and desperately trying to keep them.

Secondly, not only is it hard to communicate clearly, it is almost impossible to when people are purposely trying to doctor the truth. Weather it be photos or relationship statuses, we all like messing with people on there, don't we? This is usually for the purposes of an innocent joke or a good laugh, but in the end, do we really know any of those people at all? Think about it. If someone sends you a personal email regarding an important thing in their life, we immediately wish that we could be there with this person; listening to them, crying with them, laughing with them, etc. On Facebook, our friend is instead broadcasting it to the world. "My Mother is sick. Please pray." Instead of the intimate plea to a close acquaintance, your friend has called out to the masses. You can almost feel them gathering around, closing in around and past you, trampling on your friendship as they move towards the person in need, leaving you a little colder and a little less needed.

Finally, the big issue I am dealing with right now, tied into #2, is the fact that with the combination of Facebook and the lack of genuine real-life conversation and interaction, our social lives are becoming overly diluted. Instead of telling your close friends that you're engaged, you are telling every person you have ever met in your life. What does that do to our real relationships? When you have good news, who do you want to share it with? When you receive good news from someone, is there a little bit of joy in knowing that you are one of the first to hear this news? Does it mean something to you and the relationship?

What about the "Hey, does anyone want to go see a movie" status? It is innocent, I know, but how do you respond. What if that person didn't really want you to respond but was instead hoping that someone else would? How would that make you feel? You reconsider. "I'd like to see a movie with them, but I don't know if they think of me as the kind of friend that they would want to go see a movie with. Maybe that message was meant for someone else. Probably."

I am beginning to believe that this dilution is only going to get worse. It's not only Facebook, but what about Skype? We live all the way out in China. Skype is great because it connects us with family and friends any time we want. But could this technology tempt us to save a lot of money by not making regular visits back home to Canada? I mean, if we can just talk to family every day, isn't that just as good as, if not better because it is more often, than traveling all the way home for a few weeks?

An example that, I believe, best paints this picture is Valentines Day in elementary school. An example of a Valentines Day card back when I was in school was something like, "Bee mine" and there was a bee buzzing around on the cover. Inside, Person X would write "Have a super day" on the inside. Now, we all know that this is a bunch of crap. There couldn't be a shallower thing to say to someone, let a lone buying the bulk package from Walmart and giving the same exact card to every kid in the class. This person is not asking everyone in the class to "go steady" with them. What does the receiver of this card do? Cherish it? I mean, maybe if the nerdy kid got this card from the pretty girl in class he might keep it and dream of it one day being true, but most of the kids will probably toss it in the trash on the way out the door.

Are we after quantity or quality? Most would agree that a few real friendships are some of the best things one could have. If we're just after the most comments on our status, then we might miss out on some intimacy. Does it really matter is little Mickey from 3rd grade "likes" your status about hoping that the Canucks will "loose"?

Okay, I am losing it here. Some solutions? Take advantage of the "send a message" feature. It means more to someone if you send it to them personally instead of throwing it on their wall. Or, if you like an article on the web, send it to a group of people you think might find it interesting. Don't send "Cute photo of cuddly dog" to me, because I'm not interested. Send me enough of them and I might have to block you. Why, because I don't want dog advertisements crowding my wall. It's my opinion that "Get killer abs" and "I'm sooo bored" are both forms of junk mail that clutter up my life. One being an actually advertisement and the other being a status update from a friend.

Another idea? Cut back on the friends. A lot of people have done this already. I've deleted "friends" a few times. This isn't to hurt feelings. This is more so for my sanity. I mean, what am I on Facebook for? For one, I want to connect with my friends that live on the other side of the world. I want to show them pictures of my kids. If I show everyone the pictures, it means a little less to the ones that really mean a lot to me, as if I pasted the pictures to the wall of a downtown building in a city I've only been to once or twice.

How to end this, how to end this. Well, take this blog. I want people to read it, but I don't want people who don't want to read it to read it, you know? That's why I link it in Facebook and if people are interested then they can take the step to click and read. Otherwise, people are free to ignore. If I have a status update that says "F*ck my parents, the police and the Church", this is something that would be offensive to some, and the fact that this is digitally thrown in their face leaves them no choice but to be effected by it.

Aside from the above suggestions, I don't really know what to do about it. I don't think that I'll leave Facebook. I think it is a wonderful thing. It's just nice to know that I know that it is effecting me in ways that I would not usually agree with. Once I know, I am able to withhold it from effecting me so much. I mean, knowing about it is half the battle.

So, in closing, lets all try a little harder to be a part of the conversation and encourage real face-to-face relationships. I mean, do we really want computers to have their own social network? At the very least, if they do kill us all and start their own Facebook (or MetalSkullBook), I would hope that our mistakes would be documented so that they could learn from them, you know?